Do You Know the Difference Between Your Client’s Persona and Personality?

To be an effective coach, it is critical that you understand the difference between your client’s “Persona” and “Personality”`.  While at first blush these two terms may seem interchangeable, there are significant differences between the two!  And your ability to coach your clients depends in large measure on how each affects and influences the other!

Let me try and explain the distinctions I use to differentiate between “Persona” and “Personality”.

To find the origins of the term “Persona”, we need to go back to the classic Greek theater of 500 BC where actors and performers relied heavily on their “Persona” to define and develop their characters on stage.  “Persona” is the Latin word for “mask” and the ancient Greek performers deployed their personae to convey to the audience their emotions and character traits.  The Greek theater mask was therefore the transformational link between the actor and his character or “stage persona”.  The “Persona” even defined the stage gender of the actor, since all actors were male. 

Your “Persona” will change, adjust or conform to any situation that affects you at any given moment.   For example, when I’m interacting with my teenage sons I will use a different persona from the one that is more compatible with my partner.  My “business persona” is in stark contrast to the “entertainer persona” that defines me when I’m on stage.  And my “creative persona” bails me out when my “analytical persona” gets me into trouble with my peers or critics.  I’m either perceived as a teacher, writer, entertainer, businessman, father, spouse or lover depending on the circumstance of time and place.

Our “persona” is shaped by the characteristics that we have consciously or subconsciously developed, adopted, created or copied through learned behavior, education and training.  Our persona is substantially supported by a skill set that we have honed to perfection and that we project onto others.  Our “persona” is therefore defined by others based on their perceptions of us. 

Our “personality” on the other is shaped by the character traits we were born with; our “gifts & talents”.  Our “personality” is the driving force that motivates us to do great things. It gives us the ability to combat and defend ourselves against attacks on our persona and it immunizes us against “negative emotional viruses” that will undermine our imminent success at anything we do.   

Our “personality” will remain relatively consistent, because personality traits are largely inherent. They will manifest themselves no matter what “persona” we project onto others. Our “personality” keeps us genuine and unique, regardless of the “persona” we create for ourselves!  We cannot force our heart to stop beating or our lungs to stop breathing and we cannot subdue our inherent personality trait for any length of time.   Without the mix of our inherent personality traits, our “persona” would simply become a carbon copy of someone else. Our “personality” gives our “persona” that uniqueness that makes us different from anyone else. 

Your "Persona" is what people see! Your "Personality" is how people experience you.

Your "Persona" is your EXTERNAL IDENTITY. It is how others will characterize and identify you, based on their perception of "who you are". But your "Persona" is a mask and you can change that mask at will! For example, you can change your "Persona" to be more dominant in situations where leadership is required, such as in your career or business. Or you can adapt a "Persona" that is more aligned with your spouse or children. In fact, you will create or adapt a "Persona" for all types of different situations and you will do so without consciously thinking about it UNLESS you you want to harness the power of a "Persona" in order to achieve a specific objective. By using the right techniques, you can create such a "Persona" and internalize it so it becomes a part of you. Successful leaders do this all the time!

The bottom line is that we all have "Personae" that we hide behind and these "Personae" become our PERCEIVED IDENTITY in the eyes of those with whom we come into contact! Our "Personae" are usually created with the best of intentions, for we all want to be seen in the best possible light. They are intended to create the best "perception" about who we are in any given circumstance! As a business leader, a politician, a parent, a romantic partner, a person of faith or a coach!

But no matter how well we intend to have our "Persona" represent "who we are", it will always be a PERCEIVED IDENTITY. And because our "Persona" is created in the image we wish to be portrayed (consciously or subconsciously), it becomes an IDENTITY OF OUR EGO. There is nothing wrong with that. A healthy ego is an integral part of "who we are" and "why we are"! But it's NOT OUR TRUE IDENTITY!

Our TRUE IDENTITY is a "Spiritual Identity". It is an identity that others may experience when they meet us, but cannot see.  It is the identity that we were born with. It is inherent in all of us. And it manifests itself through our "PERSONALITY" which is the aggregate of all our inherent characteristics and talents. Our "PERSONALITY" is the moral compass that guides our "Persona" as it becomes our representative to the outside world. It preserve the integrity of our "Persona". And it adds a dimension to our "Persona" that makes it uniquely ours.

Occasionally, our “persona” is in conflict with our “personality”.  When this happens, we will experience stress and anxiety.  IF our "PERSONA" is not aligned with our "PERSONALITY" (or our TRUE IDENTITY), the "Persona" we created will be in conflict with the "Personality" we inherited. When this happens, we experience anxiety and stress, for our "Persona" no longer represents the way in which we want to be perceived. For example, if we "pretend" to be someone other than who we inherently are (based on our personality) and if we create a FALSE IDENTITY based on a "Persona" that tries to create the perception that we are someone else, our "Personality" will not be able to support or sustain such a facade. This often happens when we try to create a "Persona" for a job we want, a relationship we seek or a goal we want to achieve. If these objectives are not congruent with our inherent personality traits, we are destined to fail in these endeavors!

Our “persona” allows us to achieve any Desired Outcome, while our “personality” remains true to its own unique values and characteristics.  Our “persona” is what defines us; our “personality” is what distinguishes us.