To be an effective coach,
it is critical that you understand the difference between your client’s “Persona”
and “Personality”`. While at first blush
these two terms may seem interchangeable, there are significant differences
between the two! And your ability to
coach your clients depends in large measure on how each affects and influences
the other!
Let me try and explain
the distinctions I use to differentiate between “Persona” and “Personality”.
To find the origins of
the term “Persona”, we need to go back to the classic Greek theater of 500 BC where
actors and performers relied heavily on their “Persona” to define and develop their
characters on stage. “Persona” is the
Latin word for “mask” and the ancient Greek performers deployed their personae
to convey to the audience their emotions and character traits. The Greek theater mask was therefore the
transformational link between the actor and his character or “stage persona”. The “Persona” even defined the stage gender
of the actor, since all actors were male.
Your “Persona” will
change, adjust or conform to any situation that affects you at any given
moment. For example, when I’m
interacting with my teenage sons I will use a different persona from the one
that is more compatible with my partner.
My “business persona” is in stark contrast to the “entertainer persona”
that defines me when I’m on stage. And
my “creative persona” bails me out when my “analytical persona” gets me into
trouble with my peers or critics. I’m
either perceived as a teacher, writer, entertainer, businessman, father, spouse
or lover depending on the circumstance of time and place.
Our “persona” is
shaped by the characteristics that we have consciously or subconsciously
developed, adopted, created or copied through learned behavior, education and
training. Our persona is substantially
supported by a skill set that we have honed to perfection and that we project
onto others. Our “persona” is therefore
defined by others based on their perceptions of us.
Our “personality” on
the other is shaped by the character traits we were born with; our “gifts &
talents”. Our “personality” is the
driving force that motivates us to do great things. It gives us the ability to
combat and defend ourselves against attacks on our persona and it immunizes us
against “negative emotional viruses” that will undermine our imminent success
at anything we do.
Our “personality” will
remain relatively consistent, because personality traits are largely inherent. They
will manifest themselves no matter what “persona” we project onto others. Our
“personality” keeps us genuine and unique, regardless of the “persona” we
create for ourselves! We cannot force
our heart to stop beating or our lungs to stop breathing and we cannot subdue
our inherent personality trait for any length of time. Without the mix of our inherent personality
traits, our “persona” would simply become a carbon copy of someone else. Our
“personality” gives our “persona” that uniqueness that makes us different from
anyone else.
Your
"Persona" is what people see! Your "Personality" is how
people experience you.
Your
"Persona" is your EXTERNAL IDENTITY. It is how others will
characterize and identify you, based on their perception of "who you
are". But your "Persona" is a mask and you can change that mask
at will! For example, you can change your "Persona" to be more
dominant in situations where leadership is required, such as in your career or
business. Or you can adapt a "Persona" that is more aligned with your
spouse or children. In fact, you will create or adapt a "Persona" for
all types of different situations and you will do so without consciously
thinking about it UNLESS you you want to harness the power of a
"Persona" in order to achieve a specific objective. By using the
right techniques, you can create such a "Persona" and internalize it
so it becomes a part of you. Successful leaders do this all the time!
The
bottom line is that we all have "Personae" that we hide behind and
these "Personae" become our PERCEIVED IDENTITY in the eyes of those
with whom we come into contact! Our "Personae" are usually created
with the best of intentions, for we all want to be seen in the best possible
light. They are intended to create the best "perception" about who we
are in any given circumstance! As a business leader, a politician, a parent, a
romantic partner, a person of faith or a coach!
But no
matter how well we intend to have our "Persona" represent "who
we are", it will always be a PERCEIVED IDENTITY. And because our
"Persona" is created in the image we wish to be portrayed
(consciously or subconsciously), it becomes an IDENTITY OF OUR EGO. There is
nothing wrong with that. A healthy ego is an integral part of "who we
are" and "why we are"! But it's NOT OUR TRUE IDENTITY!
Our TRUE
IDENTITY is a "Spiritual Identity". It is an identity that others may
experience when they meet us, but cannot see.
It is the identity that we were born with. It is inherent in all of us.
And it manifests itself through our "PERSONALITY" which is the
aggregate of all our inherent characteristics and talents. Our
"PERSONALITY" is the moral compass that guides our
"Persona" as it becomes our representative to the outside world. It
preserve the integrity of our "Persona". And it adds a dimension to
our "Persona" that makes it uniquely ours.
Occasionally,
our “persona” is in conflict with our “personality”. When this happens, we will experience stress
and anxiety. IF our "PERSONA"
is not aligned with our "PERSONALITY" (or our TRUE IDENTITY), the
"Persona" we created will be in conflict with the
"Personality" we inherited. When this happens, we experience anxiety
and stress, for our "Persona" no longer represents the way in which
we want to be perceived. For example, if we "pretend" to be someone
other than who we inherently are (based on our personality) and if we create a
FALSE IDENTITY based on a "Persona" that tries to create the
perception that we are someone else, our "Personality" will not be
able to support or sustain such a facade. This often happens when we try to
create a "Persona" for a job we want, a relationship we seek or a
goal we want to achieve. If these objectives are not congruent with our
inherent personality traits, we are destined to fail in these endeavors!
Our
“persona” allows us to achieve any Desired Outcome, while our “personality”
remains true to its own unique values and characteristics. Our “persona” is what defines us; our
“personality” is what distinguishes us.
