The paradigm most often associated with being Suddenly Single is their personification as the victim of a circumstance, or a set of circumstances over which there was little or no control. Such circumstances always lead to the inevitable state of being “single” as the default opposite to being “in a relationship”.
The obvious paradox in the previous statement is that being “suddenly single” could just as easily have been defined as “being suddenly without a relationship”.
Although both statements describe the essence of the reality, they conjure up a different image in the mind, a different perception. Yet they both mean the same thing. Think of “being broke” and then change that to “being without money”. Change “being out-of-work” to “being in-between jobs”.
Do you see the difference in perception?
Although both statements represent an identical situation in the moment, the first observation in each of the previous examples conjures up an image of longevity or even permanence. The second way to describe the same situation is far less odious or punitive. It sees the glass as half full, instead of half empty. It implies that a temporary setback will be followed by a full recovery.
So in stead of being labeled a victim of circumstance, this is merely a “detour” in the road of life. It is a chance encounter with Providence that provides us with enormous opportunity to realign ourselves with our destiny.
Rather than “commiserate” and wallow in self-pity, we should celebrate our new status as a glorious gift to reclaim all that we surrendered when trying to accommodate those in our past. Rediscover the qualities, values and virtues that once defined us and ultimately made us attractive to those who matter!
If we can make the paradigm shift from “Victim” to “Victor” and re-label ourselves accordingly, we are well on our way to achieving one of life’s sacred objectives and inalienable rights:
Live & Love Life Without Limits!
© 2014 Allan N. Mulholland, CPC
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